Bad daughter I am.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Life been harder since weeks before.
My previously active father that hardly seen in home years before,
now turn to be someone that function by depends on other.

I can't complain.
I don't have right to do so because I'm not the one that support him enough.

But I have no idea why I become so cold-hearted towards him
as I resent him so much nowadays.

Not because he is sick, but because of his behavior and attitude.
Being grumpy towards people who help him way too much.
Being hot-tempered while people sincerely helping him.

I know he is sick.
But can he be a little nice to his children, who without any condition helping him,
sacrificing their youths and time to have a nice holiday before opening of school.
Moreover, can he be nicer to his wife who beside him no matter what happen, hoping for no rewards and just do her part.

I am angry because he seeks for our understanding that he is sick,
but he never understand people around him.

He awaken us late at night to do trivial things.
He doesn't let us free without his shouting for his needs.
He can't wait.
He wants all people to do things by his ways and never consider any circumstances.
He makes us do this and that but at the end never appreciate.

I want to be patient, but I can't.
This is too much for a person towards other people.

In my eyes, he is only a controlling-freak that makes many people suffer.
It just impossible to love him wholeheartedly.
Huh, now I turn to be a bad daughter.
Hate me all the way you can, but for just one day,
take our places here and experience the pain.

So long.
Good night.