Gear reverse

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. 
Alhamdulillah akhirnya dapat juga menjenguk sebentar di blog ini.
Rindu tapi emmm malas sikit nak update. (ya i know that's a lame excuse).
By the way, i wrote this post by my phone. 
So i have no idea what shape it will appear in the page. hehehe...

Tahun baru (lalalala baru la sangat..) so much had already happened.
Improvement. Falling apart. Consciousness. Blurriness. Happy time, sad time. 
even it's only 3 months had passed.
Can i share something with you? 
Hmmm one of the most significant one from the previous days.Begini ceriteranya.. 

Di satu malam yang hening, 2 orang yang sangat sayangkan ukht mereka yang bakal (sekarang dah laa) pulang ke Malaysia setelah tamat belajar, telah mengambil keputusan untuk menghantarnya di lapangan terbang.
Di dalam perjalanan ke sana, mereka berborak sakan di dalam teksi yang dinaiki..(hekhek nak pecah rahsia orang nii.berdebar pulak)..

Antara isi kandungan yang menggamit hati seorang dari mereka ialah berkenaan CINTA.. (hukhuk hot story hot story).
Biasalah usia muda remaja ada secret crush dengan orang tapi tiada peluang. 
Jadinya berkatalah si A yang beliau tidak boleh ke hadapan dan tidak boleh berpatah ke belakang. 
It seems so impossible to either continue to keep the feeling or to abolish the feeling. 
Stuck in nowhere to go..

Nak dijadikan cerita, teksi yang mereka naiki tiba-tiba sesat (patut ke terminal 3, tapi masuk jalan ke terminal 1), dan tiba di hadapan tol..
Kalau masuk tol memang confirm akan masuk ke terminal 1.

Instead of passing the toll, pakcik teksi ni berhenti dan tanya arah mana nak pergi walaupun sekarang ni satu jalan je yang ada, iaitu terus, dan jalan tu bukan jalan yang betul pun.
So apa yang pakcik teksi ni buat lepas beberapa minit menghilangkan diri ialah dia pegi reverse  kereta dia entah berapa kilometer sampailah jumpe jalan lain yang menuju ke arah destinasi sebenar. 
Huuuu adventure la sungguh menaiki kereta yang melawan arus.
Dan alhamdulillah dua orang gadis itu selamat sampai di lapangan terbang.

Yeah tepat mengenai sasaran pengajaran yang Allah nak bagi.
It's possible to reverse. Even it seems not possible.
Itu lebih baik dari terus tapi melalui jalan yang salah.
Walaupun in attempt to reverse, too many obstacles to be confronted with, it's the right way to do. 
We have destination we are heading to.
Moga tidak sesat di dunia ini.

Ayuh melalui jalan yang benar! 
Walaupun adakalanya berpatah itu perlu.
Kerana itu adanya gear reverse bukan?

In mean time, i choose to wait. 
Although it's really not a good choice. maybe till the end of my study.gathering strength to reverse later insyaAllah.
.Wallahua'lam..

(p/s- perlu mengasah semula bakat menulis yang telah tumpul dek kerana peredaran waktu? lalala bakat la sangat.)

Final resolution (till now)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

.

Recently i was reading "The Alchemist" by Paolo Coelho.

(milah, i read it when you were not at home..sorry not to tell you...)

Just  finishing the introduction part je pun. haha

.

I just kinda interested at how Paolo Coelho responded when people ask him how can "The Alchemist" hit a big success.

.

He answer : "I don’t know. All I know is that, like 'Santiago the shepherd boy', we all need to be aware of our personal calling. What is a personal calling? It’s a God blessing, it is the path of God chose for you here on Earth…"

.

So what is the path that God had chose for me I wonder?

To be frank, all of us don’t know that right?

Either to use all our potential at the right place and time, or either to improve our-selves weaknesses?

Or maybe it’s both?

.

But later, Paolo Coelho continued his writing saying it’s about to follow our dream. Doing something that enthutiasm to ourselves.

 Is it the right answer?

Just following my dream is a path that God had chose for me?

.

Sebagai seorang muslim, kita sedar bahawa hidup di dunia ini hanya sementara. 

Kehidupan akhirat akan menyusul selepas kemusnahan dunia ini.

Bekalan untuk akhirat wajib disediakan 

namun tugas dan tanggungjawab di dunia tidak patut diabaikan.

.

Being a muslim is about to be an excellent human being either in the world or hereafter.

We maybe can’t  100% control our fates in the world, being almost everything is about luck and genetically given. 

Yet, for the next world, it is almost 100% of we that going to determined it. 

To be success or to be hell. It’s up to our effort and perseverance.
(melainkan ALLAH berkehendak kepada yang lain..)

What I think is, my life in this world is about to finishing the task that ALLAH had instruct me to do.

So, that will be my dream from now on!

The best Hamba and daie.

To be both means I have to use all my potentials, talents and abilities,

and at the same time to improve all the weaknesses I have that hinder my path to achieve my dreams.

.

Yosh! 
I write this so I will not forget it even for the next 10 or 100 years. (kalau panjang umur~)

This writing will be my reminder for not wasting time to unrelated useless meaningless things and thoughts and actions.

This is my resolution.

This is my resolution.

This is my resolution.

May ALLAH help me in my journey biiznillah.

p/s - good mood constructed. finally i got my resolution. hehe i feel good after a long night sleep. the headache had disappear. now it's about to create a good life time dunia dan akhirat~

oo by the way, my ambition back then was to become a chemist. hehe apa beza chemist dengan alchemist eh?

Wallahua'lam.

SOS ASAP

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
.
somehow i need a helping hand to force me out 
from my underwater world.
the suffocating world.
i hardly breathing.
but stubbornly i keep myself in.
.
i just can't.
i don't know how to get out.
i am blank and absent minded.
.
when i was thinking of stepping out,
i was actually sucked deeper inside.
by the time
the exit seems fade away.
.
i'm stuck with my heart attached strongly
to the unrequited love.
i tried before to release it
but failed.
.
SOS asap isn't a kind of food.
it is a signal.
for those who have way to help me.
please, i beg you.
.
just please pat me on my back.
just this once.
and tell me a soothing word.
tell me a relaxing phrase.
share with me a tempting advice.
so i can breath normally.
.
make me cry.
make me free.
be my oxygen
and get me out from this miserable world.

so close, yet so far.

37 : 40-61

p/s - good mood under construction.

this is what we call odd mood.

feel free to keep a look to another entries okay?

Anakku~

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Memang tak dapat menahan untuk meng'update' ini blog..hehe
Harapnya entry ini tidak terlampau lambat untuk ditujukan kepada medical student tahun 5 Universiti kaherah 2012 yang sedang dalam fatrah bertungkus lumus untuk peperiksaan akhir tahun ( haha skema ) subjek Paediatrics..
.
Just wanna share the inspired thinking that kept me revising the books of Paediatrics although i'm really not into it.. * big smile :)

hiasan je okey.

Dulu-dulu pernah ambil kelas tafsir dengan Ustazah Jihad.. ( really missing her a looottt~).
Ambil juzuk 30 tapi berhenti sekerat jalan.
Ongkos tak cukup, plus konon2 extra sibuk tahun ni..
Tapi insyaALLAH jika diberi kelapangan rezeki dan masa, memang teringin sangat nak sambung.
Ok, enough here. Let's proceed..
.
Abasa : 33 -37
We'll quickly go through this piece.

" Maka apabila datang suara yang memekakkan, pada hari itu manusia lari dari saudaranya, dan dari ibu bapanya, dan dari isteri dan anak-anaknya.."

Dari kitab tafsir "Sofwatut-tafasiir" dan juga dari penerangan ustazah, susunan saudara -ibubapa- isteri/suami - anak2 adalah mengikut dari yang kurang sayang kepada yang paling sayang.
Ustazah share kat sini, yang walaupun ustazah memang sayang sangat Ustaz Mahmud (suami beliau), tapi sayang Ustazah kepada khadijah (anak perempuannya), adalah lebih-lebih lagi.. :)
Dan susunan ini sebenarnya apply to all human being la lebih kurang.
Jadi, disebabkan this piece of informationlah yang membuatkan saya sangat merajinkan diri membaca buku2 kanak-kanak walaupun saya tak minat sangat.
.
I don't want to play with someone who is the most precious person to someone else's life.
And precious to me also.
So, rule to be applied here para doktor sekalian,
Jika anda tidak mahu sesuatu yang buruk terjadi kepada anak anda disebabkan salah pihak pengurusan hospital dan staff-staffnya, don't do it to others. 
I warn you for the sake of my children too.hehe
.
Study well.
Work well.

studying this little creature.fuuuhhh~

p/s - laptop black out. tension. still kene study untuk Paeds MCQ... really doing bad in managing stress. "ujian di titik kelemahan"
- Rojak itu sedap dimakan.


Wallahua'lam

Mumbling of "extra-ordinary" self

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
.
First of all, i'm so sorry all my dear readers.
Today i just want to pour all my heart's contents in this entry.
Feel free to jump to any other entry if you're not that interest.
Again, i am really sorry.

ISTJ - this is my personality.
( You can check further information here )
Before, i never give any damn about my personality.
As long as i feel good, any will be okay.
Till i realized my task as a daie.
Yah, life been tougher since then.
Am I hate this personality? 
Yes. you can say that.
Why am I so uncomfortable with my personality now?
.
The true daie should be somebody whom can reach people, easily mingled with people surrounding him/her right?
Everyone feel so good when talking to them.
They speak wonderful words.
They touch your heart.
Right?
Cool if you're one..

mingle around with people will ya?

But who is ISTJ? 
( to be more exact, who am I? because my personality is a blend of the given personality + upbringing + experience.)
I like to live inside my world most of the time ( not all the time).
Hardly speak with others especially in the crowd.
I always wait to be reached than reaching other people.
I am not so fancy to meet new people. It's really straining my every nerves~
Even already known one. (=.=)

still wondering which type you are?
take this test and share it if you like
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourpersonalitytypequiz/

I'm so strict especially things related to behavior.
I mean it takes time for me to tolerate with misbehavior that actually is not that misbehavior.
Because i am somebody who is perfectionist.
(So much one.)
It is so hard to accept even a small defect except if it is myself.
(contradicting right?)
.
What else?
Oh, lacking sentiment regarding other people's condition.
Tend to be selfish and ignorance about other.
Having problem to express my true feeling.
Crying alone is something i do often. (*smile)
.
Haha there's still times that i can act beyond my known personality.
I can be someone who teasing others, speaks nonsense, cracks silly jokes...
Often if I do that, all people will ask me,
" are you okay?"
Are they thought an alien has exchanged itself with me? 
* rolling eyes
The truth is, i just love to do that.
But not with all people, not all the time.
When the mood is there, that's me actually.
.
Hmm people sometimes see me as someone that like to fight with others
(not sometimes, many times)
But actually, i just wanna know the truth behind every act done till i feel satisfy.
My curiosity very very high that i still not find  people that can stand it till now.
I hate to be misunderstood that's why i try not to misunderstand others 
(although i do it often. that's why i like to ask.)
.
I do bad under stress mode.
That's the reason why i choose to sleep when i am in stress.
Cause if i say something that time, i will only speak hurtful words.
If i'm doing something, u'll only see the unsatisfying results. 
.
Well, enough said.
Even there is more, i think all above are the most obvious one.
Being a daie is not easy if you have this kind of personality.
The path is already difficult, plus with all this,
It becomes so unbearable.
This is why this personality made me like a very hot worm
( baca : cacing kepanasan ^.^)
.
I keep asking my colleagues of this path how to overcome my problem,
but i think not all are helpful. ( sorry girls T.T)
Speaking hurtful words yet they are not in my shoes...
I can't blame them right? They also have their own issues.
.
That's why I just feel like i'm battling alone.
I am really tired. so tired that i just want to stop.
But, i guess because i'm not doing this because of myself, i will keep on moving.
Even it's so hard. Very. T.T
.
The verses that keep me stay,
that keep me battle with myself,
that supply me with strength,
that is my friend when i feel alone,
that soothe my heart which burdened with so many issues,
are these:- 
[ 13 : 11 ]

" ... Sesungguhnya ALLAH tidak akan mengubah keadaan sesuatu kaum hinggalah kaum itu mengubah keadaan mereka sendiri.."

[ 9 : 20]

" Orang-orang yang beriman dan berhijrah serta berjihad di jalan ALLAH dengan harta dan jiwa mereka, adalah lebih tinggi darjatnya di sisi ALLAH. Mereka itulah yang memperoleh kemenangan.."

I have my goal when i jot this entry down.
Apart for you to know me more (*evil smile..even if you not know who am I..) 
I also want to give supporting words for those whom also feel like they are battling alone.
You're not alone.
ALLAH with you.
HE just want you to be more strong, more confident, more burning power..
Give up is something you have to remove from your life dictionary.
.
ISTJ may be my personality right now.
But, it is not the forever hindrance for me.
I'm willing to change.
And i'm trying with my own way.
Difficult is a certain.
But that's something you're created for.
Just handle it with care.
[ 90 : 4 ]

" Sungguh KAMI telah mencipta manusia untuk berada dalam kepayahan.."

Not all my personality is the bad one.
I also have the good side.
I am a perseverance one ( even I doubt it..) 
and etc - not intended to mention all.. hehe.
Just be yourself that you feel you wanna be.
Changing personality is not a one day matter,
But it will change your whole life forever.

"Our personalities can be very complicated and many-sided. But that is what makes each one of us special. "

Wallahua'lam..

Spirit injections for exam fever students.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah.
Masih diberi kesempatan untuk bernafas dan beramal di bumi-NYA..
Cuma, fikiran sekarang amat berserabut.
Hah~ berfikir macam2.
Tapi masih tiada tindakan diambil.
.
Exam is around the corner.
Study tak habis lagi..Asyik menerawang je kejenya..
Rasa dah penat..
Rasa macam loser..

Ish, tak elok mengeluh laa!

STOP!
Never feel like a loser.
Take note of this verse/ayat:-

"Maka janganlah kamu merasa lemah dan mengajak damai (kepada musuh Islam), kerana kamulah yang lebih unggul dan ALLAH bersama kamu, dan DIA tidak akan mengurangi (ganjaran) amalan kamu"             [ Muhammad : 35]

Ayat ni macam berkaitan dengan perang kan?
Yes!
Memang sesuaila sangat untuk kita-kita yang sememangnya sedang berperang.
Berperang dengan pena...

Pensil pun boleeh~
.

Ayat ni memberi kita nasihat supaya jangan lemah.
Jangan mengalah pada cik nafsu tu .
(*Tahinuu = rasa hina/wahan = rasa xbest nak buat = rasa lemah nak buat?)
(*Tad3u ilassalmi = mengajak kepada perjanjian damai = taknak teruskan perang = mengalah?)
Simply because of 2 reasons.
.
Firstly,
Jangan jadi lemah kerana kita-kita ni insyaALLAH unggul/haibat orangnya.
Kita adalah Muslims yang kuat dan have control to ourselves.
Kita bukan orang yang lemah, so why pretend to be one?
.
Malah kita sedang berusaha melakukan sesuatu yang insyaALLAH mulia disisi-NYA.
Kita sedang berjihad untuk kesejahteraan ummah.
Kita sedang berjihad untuk menunaikan tanggaungjawab kita sebagai hamba dan khalifah.
Kita sedang berjihad untuk mengejar mardhatillah..
Jadi, jihad yang kita sedang lakukan ini (antaranya belajar, tapi bukan satu-satunya), adalah sesuatu yang unggul/haibat juga.
Be proud of the jihad we're pouring effort on it right now.
Unless you are proud of it, you'll never feel bored or weak to do it.
Kan?
(*A3laun = tinggi darjat = bolehla maknakan unggul/haibat)
.
It's true that Cik Nafsu will always try to lure us.
Tidurlah...Tensionlah...
Time-time ni lah tetibe  teringat pakwe/makwe la bagai (don't do this at home.only for married couple only).
Time-time ni lah tibe-tibe homesick.
Time-time ni lah tibe-tibe nak update blog (opps hehe ^.^ )
But never ever make peace/tolerate with cik nafsu tu..
Be hard.Be tough.
(Gulp)
Sebab ia cuma akan menjerumuskan kita ke jurang kemusnahan.. T.T
.
Lawan lawan nafsu tu..Ya, fighting!
1. Banyakkan baca Quran. (kadang-kadang time exam kita cut half of the tilawah n tadabbur kan? T.T)
2. Dengarlah ceramah agama 40hari sekali ke dua kali ke even for 10 minutes. pergi usrah dan daurah ke.. youtube pun ade. (haih time exam bukan time hibernasi hati..hibernasi maksiat memang digalakkan..*wink2)
3. Banyakkan doa..
.
Secondly of why we're not supposed to feel weak:-
Sebab ALLAH bagi jaminan bahawa DIA ada bersama-sama kita sentiasa jika kita terus-terusan bermujahadah..terang jelas dan nyata dari ayat al-Quran di atas..
DIA akan menghulurkan pertolongan di setiap masa kita perlukannya walaupun kita tak sedar..contohnya,
Masa kita tengah baca buku, ALLAH lah yang bagi kefahaman tu.
Masa tengah jawab MCQs, ALLAH lah yang bagi kita clue dan pilihan yang terbaik.
Masa tengah jawab essay, ALLAH lah yang bagi kita ingatan nak jawab soalan-soalan tu..
Kalau nak harapkan diri sendiri, takdelah nak faham dan ingat semua benda2 yang banyak tu..dan banyak lagi..
Jadi tiada sebab untuk merasa lemah kerana kita ada supporter yang MAHA KUAT - ALLAH s.w.t
& Don't forget to be thankful to ALLAH always okay?
.
Ingat cerita Nasi Kerabu?
Every good deeds will be rewarded and never be ignored.
HE surely will rewards us exactly and even more than we deserve.
Maka bertambah sebab untuk tidak menjadi lemah dan mengalah~
Yet we have to double our gratefulness to ALLAH right?


Wallahua'lam.


p/s - ayat rojak sempena mood rojak~
bittaufiq exam nanti..

Life's messages

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
Hari ini, biar gambar menceritakan apa yang ingin saya sampaikan.
(Because i've lost my wisdom to the bin the previous 2 days...so sad~)

To figure a goal,

*akhirat

also,

So, give the best shot!

Although,

still,

Bear in mind,

The first step,

and then,

Don't worry,

and go on..

Heyya~

Keep on doing good deeds~

Even..

and I know,

So,

Sometimes,

Yet,

Az-Zumar : 53

Just don't give up!

Surely,

Dear friends,

last but not least, the thing that i hope most -

InsyaALLAH~

Wallahua'lam.

May the messages reach your heart..

Sumber kartun : http://www.facebook.com/brotherhoodarts